I was born into a family already populated by two girls. My sisters would say I was doubly blessed. Maybe. Maybe not. Definitely not always. Yes, I learned a lot from my sisters but sometimes it wasn't to my advantage. It’s not that they taught me bad things; let's just say that occasionally the lessons were incomplete. Let me illustrate.

Some kids bring home stray kittens or puppies. My sisters dragged in new phrases. One particular phrase was "Yours truly." I observed that one sister would say something like, "Guess who passed her history test?" and point to herself and say "Yours truly." The other would ask, "Well, who do you think is going shopping with Marsha on Friday night?" and point to herself and say "Yours truly!" I figured it out. Answer a question by pointing and saying "Yours truly." Totally cool. I couldn't wait to try it out and the opportunity was not long in coming.

My younger brother and I were playing in our bedroom when he decided it would be fun to jump on the bed. As is often the case with fun behavior, it was also illegal, at least in the Dunkin home. So when Mom dashed up the stairs demanding to know who was defying house rules, I smugly pointed to Jon and chortled, "Yours truly." Jon cringed, I grinned, Mom charged . . . at the wrong son!

I don't know who was more surprised, my brother or me, but it became painfully (literally) apparent that Mom didn't know how this "yours truly" phrase worked. And I couldn't explain it to her before she applied the “board of education” to the “seat of knowledge.” I was confused; I had clearly pointed at my brother when I said "yours truly".

Eventually we got it all sorted out. My brother confessed but didn't get even as much as a scolding. No surprise there. Half a century after the incident, Mom still feels guilty about her rush to (in)justice. My sisters much too frequently bring it up at family dinners, as if they were completely innocent. I kept hoping there was a reason for the whole ugly scene. I think I found one.

I was just reading a story in the Epistle of James about a disconnect between words and actions. The author uses the illustration of a man who says one thing - "Blessings on you, my friend" - and then walks away, ignoring his friend's obvious needs. Did the "blesser" mean what he said? Probably. Did the "blessee" get the message? He likely saw the incident in a completely different light and no one would blame him if he had responded with righteous indignation. When words and actions don't agree, someone is going to get hurt. Believe me, I know.

So, my reader friend, please learn this life-lesson from my painful past: make sure your words and actions mean the same thing. Letting the Spirit of Christ reign in what you say and what you do is the only sure way to avoid giving off mixed signals.

Yours truly (and blessings, too!),